Pandemic

I am beyond thankful for many things, among them certainly are the photo labs still processing film. I recently sent out a few rolls to The Darkroom in San Clemente, CA, one of which held photos of the affects of the pandemic in my area of New Jersey. I was particularly anxious to get this roll back because 1) This is a weird time and I want to make sure that down the road my kids get to see how it effected our town and 2) I used a type of film that was new to me and wanted to leave myself time to re-shoot in the event that I botched it.

Covid-19 Drive-Up Test Site, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

Covid-19 Drive-Up Test Site, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

Lomochrome Metropolis was recently introduced by Lomography as the newest color negative emulsion created in about 50 years. Its trademark look features desaturated, muted tones with popping oranges and reds. In a time chock full of warning signs and caution tape, this seemed like the ideal combination.

Somerset County Hazmat Decon Unit, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

Somerset County Hazmat Decon Unit, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

New Jersey is one of the most densely populated states in America; crowds, traffic and lines are par for the course. The vacant parking lots, the lack of people dining out and the empty highways are all very surreal. Topping it all off is the Covid-19 testing site at the community college parking lot across from our house. They run tests twice a week for 3 hours at a shot. The tents and structures are left standing on off days, lending itself further to the eeriness surrounding the area.

Travel Digitally, Somerset County Library- Bridgewater Branch, May 2020

Travel Digitally, Somerset County Library- Bridgewater Branch, May 2020

Perhaps even weirder than the situation or the atmosphere itself is the consumer-culture response to this event. The Covid-19 pandemic has been branded. It seems like every company has tried to wriggle their way into the middle of this mess with a message about how they are “doing their part” to fight the invisible beast. I was not the only one bombarded with one e-mail after another from CEOs who assure me their employees are now disinfecting the store, washing their hands and are being told to stay home if they are sick. These things should be the norm, not something that needs to be paraded around during a crisis. Commercial after commercial begins with “in these unprecedented times….” as they go on to explain financing options for your new car. Banners with reminders of social distancing feature company logos, eager to be recognized for their strong moral sense of corporate responsibility. Celebrities record videos from their lavish homes, speaking of solidarity, telling us that we are all #AloneTogether. But we are not, really. Some people do not have work to return to. Some are struggling to put food on the table. Others face the reality of having to choose between working and homeschooling their children whose upcoming year at school is (understandably) still undecided. If there is one thing that we have- hopefully- learned, it is that we could certainly stand to make some adjustments to the way we live. The silver lining is that there is talk of a new normal on the horizon. What exactly that will look like remains to be seen, but I’m choosing to be optimistic for the time being.

Sponsored by Pepsi, Time to Eat Diner in Somerville, May 2020

Sponsored by Pepsi, Time to Eat Diner in Somerville, May 2020

I hope a new normal does emerge. One that grants us a heightened sense of compassion and care for others. Maybe a little more transparency and awareness of the world around us, too. Until that day comes, I hope you are all staying safe and well and hopefully finding a little joy, even if it’s just in the small things, during all of this.

Covid-19 Drive-Up Test Site, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

Covid-19 Drive-Up Test Site, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

Covid-19 Drive-Up Test Site Tent, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

Covid-19 Drive-Up Test Site Tent, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

The Safety and Well-Being of Our Associates, The Village at Bridgewater Commons, May 2020

The Safety and Well-Being of Our Associates, The Village at Bridgewater Commons, May 2020

Empty Parking Lot at Macy’s, Bridgewater Commons Mall, May 2020

Empty Parking Lot at Macy’s, Bridgewater Commons Mall, May 2020

Curbside Pick-Up, Bridgewater, May 2020

Curbside Pick-Up, Bridgewater, May 2020

5 Guest Max, Somerville, May 2020

5 Guest Max, Somerville, May 2020

No Group Ball Playing, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

No Group Ball Playing, Raritan Valley Community College, May 2020

Take-Out Only, Branchburg, May 2020

Take-Out Only, Branchburg, May 2020

Duke Island Park, May 2020

Duke Island Park, May 2020

Parks are now open, playgrounds are still closed, May 2020

Parks are now open, playgrounds are still closed, May 2020

Introduction

There is no feeling quite like the feeling of staring down an empty page, proverbial pen in hand. That first mark is full of so much expectation: will it mar the whole piece or be the start of something beautiful? At least, for me, anyway. I tend to forget the grey area between and, oh yeah, the fact that you can start over. So here I go, about a year after creating this blog component to my website and then dutifully ignoring it.

I choose my first markings to be those of honesty and transparency. For most of my life I have felt isolated. When I was younger I was called a space cadet and often retreated far into my own thoughts, not finding much interest in what was going on around me (except, of course, the goings-ons of a few friends who I still love to this day).

I found sleep was a weird spectrum of conscious. I often felt stuck in parts of the continuum, needing to fight my way out. But along with the difficulty came vivid imagery and a sense of color and movement that I wouldn’t have traded for anything. As I got older, these struggles contributed to the defining traits of which I developed my own artistic style.

Still, life can sometimes be too much to bear sometimes and that is why I am writing to you having just discharged from a 3-week stay at a mental health facility. I think that is really why I decided to begin this blog when I did. That, and because a friend who was helping me look over this website kind of laughed (chuckled, maybe?) at the empty space. Or maybe I imagined that. Honestly, I have a hard time keeping track of what is real anymore.

But here I am. Alive. Maybe worse for the wear but time will tell. I want to tell my story but it will be on my terms as I am ready. In the meantime, I found- and continue to find- that art is what steers me back home. I drew nearly every day until I discovered that I enjoyed creating collages from the stacks of magazines and catalogs available to us. I created affirmation cards from them; a cryptic image on the back of a note card with an affirming statement on the front, reassuring me that my place was on this earth. I included some at the end in case you are struggling yourself (or in case you just want to see some collage).

So here begins my story. I can’t promise I will update this blog every week or even monthly- but I will as I am ready.

I am of the greater natural world where each root and stone is a confidant, each tree a confessor. So long as they exist, I will never be without a friend,

I am of the greater natural world where each root and stone is a confidant, each tree a confessor. So long as they exist, I will never be without a friend,

I feel love in the rain and the trees. The wind writes poetry just for me. My trust is in nature and its soul is in me.

I feel love in the rain and the trees. The wind writes poetry just for me. My trust is in nature and its soul is in me.

The time we have is precious.

The time we have is precious.

The sun finds a way to reach its hands deep into the water. Let them pull you out. You are not ready to drown.

The sun finds a way to reach its hands deep into the water. Let them pull you out. You are not ready to drown.

You are a new soul. Learn from others and learn from your ancestors and be patient with yourself as you navigate this new gift.

You are a new soul. Learn from others and learn from your ancestors and be patient with yourself as you navigate this new gift.

So there you have it. I promise this blog will grow to encompass techniques and other new creations but for the time being, I’d love to hear any affirmations you use and would be willing to share.